you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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