I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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