how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
