You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
