She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Shame is for Republicans.
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