theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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