i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize