Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
