What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
