Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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