I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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