dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
