lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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