You work out of a Hotel?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
