Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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