Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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