My girlfriend figured out who you are.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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