i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
