Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
