And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize