And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
