then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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