best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
