We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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