he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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