And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
