i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
