as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am naked and annoyed.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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