Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
