i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
