theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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