Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We need to get me chipped asap
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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