she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
