omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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