We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
