Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
