it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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