Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
