called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
