I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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