Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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