Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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