so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
