Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize