So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
