When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
