He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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