Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
