So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
