Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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