i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
