ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
They have beer where we have blood.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
