I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
