she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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