handjob tips. give me some.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This baby is an asshole
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
