you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
