Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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