so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
