Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
