Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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