thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
