Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
