You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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