you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
tell me about the fingering
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