Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
