I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize