i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
