he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
