His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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