How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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